Wats wrong with this world?

http://www.komotv.com/stories/38000.htm

All i can say is WAT THE F***
Some people really have nothing better to do...and they get themselves killed in the most amusing way. Animals is bad enough, but what sicko in their right mind would take on a HORSE? What shocked me is that it seems to be legal in Washington State. This is proof that we live in a F***** up world with lots of crazy people. Crazy people die from doing crazy things...or more like Sicko people die from doing sicko things. Moral of the story: Don't be gay and don't take on a horse.

Eagles Lost =(

Bummer. Eagles only lost by 4 points. i hate Sydney...they play so dirty. i'm at uni now doin the critique for the week. Gotta try to focus a little more. i have a lot on my mind. Going to come to uni again tomorrow to start the work for the seminar. Lecturer said it's a hard topic. Bummer again. Still have journals and a 6000 word essay to do. Watched a comedy movie with my cousin on Thursday. It wasn't really that good. i'd prefer a horror even though i'm scared of horror movies. Action movies would be good too. Bummer, i should get back to my massive homework load.

Better now

i'm feeling better now. Or at least better than i was yesterday. i have enough hope to get by, but not so much as i can get crushed again from. i've got other stuff to focus on.. such as my journals, critique, research essay, assignment and a seminar i have to prepare by next week. If i die, i would rather die trying. Pain? i've been through worse.

Torn down

i broke one of the few rules i ever made...never ever to keep my hopes up. Now i feel like i have nothing to live for. i'm really crushed. i need time to think and be alone...i don't want want people barging into this room. LEAVE ME ALONE IDIOTS! Its frigging annoying. i want my privacy...i'm very pissed at the moment. i want to be alone for now. Everybody seems to be disturbing me. i don't want to make it through the week. i can't understand why i was ever born. All i get is misery. There is also uni stuff to worry about. When do i graduate? Why da F*** does everybody ask me that. It has nothing to do with them. Only me. Its really annoying. i have no idea...i have no idea what to do after i graduate. i don't even see myself graduating and finishing uni. No job, no future, no life.

Eagles in Grand Final!

Woopee, i watched the game on TV and it was pretty evenly matched. Crows almost caught up but Eagles managed to kick a couple more goals to stay safe. One of the best games i've seen. They better win the grand final. i've also just finished watching FF7 advent children. Its really awesome. i want a sword like Cloud's. Can be split up into serveral swords or attached together as one. Awesome stuff. Yuffie and Tifa also look extremly attractive...damn animation is getting so realistic now. Fight scenes were extremly entertaining. Makes the Matrix's fight scenes seem extremly dull. Also motorbike chases are so extreme, that the fighters fight on and off their bikes at high speed with melee and ranged weapons. FF7 had one of the greatest story lines ever, and its pretty cool that they use the story to make a movie out of it. Thinking about going to uni tomorrow to write up my critiques and journals. i don't want to get too lazy. i'm also feeling a bit unwell. Maybe i ate too much chicken cacciatore.

Very Confused

i finally finished my assignment and have already uploaded it. i'm gonna relax today and spend the weekend working on the critiques for the week. i asked her out again on wednesday but she says she was busy...i was really down but didn't have much time to dwell on it coz of the assignment. i was really happy when she asked if i wanted to watch a movie with her after the assignment. That was just the day after. It probably didn't mean anything for her though. Honestly girls are very confusing sometimes. i'll probably get torn down into pieces in the end, but i only live once and i still want to try even though i'm expecting to be really hurt later on. i really don't want to keep my hopes up. Thats just suicidal. Hmm so much homework to do. i have to prepare a seminar, start the 3000 word essay, and finish my journals and critiques. Bummer.

Very Happy

i was so happy yesterday...my parents bought me a zen! i promise that i will do anything they say for the next 5 years or until i pay them back. i'm at uni right now listening to it and also writing up my critique for the week. i'll finish in the next 2 hours then i can start on my ICT325 assignment. Also our new neighbours who recently moved in gave us some home cooked muffins. They must be really nice. i can't believe that i have zen that will give me music whenever i need it. Thats already one of my four goals that i have in my life. The remaining three are: a job, a car and a girl.

If i kill myself...

If i do kill myself, i want people to know that for me to kill myself, i would of have to been very sad. So people should take comfort in knowing that i wouldn't be sad anymore if i am gone, whether i disappear completely or if i am in heaven or hell. If i kill myself its because i can't live on with my life anymore so i would probably be doing the right thing to leave and just disappear. Therefore i don't want people to be sad, disappointed or angry that i am gone because they should know that i won't be sad anymore. i also would prefer to be cremated because that would save space. i don't care what happens with my ashes. i'm not gonna kill myself yet, so anybody reading this should not be worried. i'm just writing down my thoughts as they come.

At uni again

Here i am doin essays and stuff at uni. i'm gonna try and get my work done before midnight tonight. Have to write up a 1000 word critique and an outline for a 3000 word essay. i just can't work from home. There's too many distractions. At uni here now and i am the only one in these labs...its so quiet here. All i can hear is the sound of my fingers hitting the keyboard, the quiet humming of the computers and the air conditioning unit. All the computers except this one has a black screen because they're in stand by mode. Kinda peaceful...lonely, but peaceful. i should be able to do my work here.

Google for thought

i think Google is such a successful company. Its not just because its become filthy rich, but because we (or at least i) seem to be using a lot of its services. For example, when we first got the internet, i set google as the homepage because it was nice, clean, simple and took the least amount of time to load up the page. Whenever i wanted to look up something on the net, whether it be music lyrics or code, google was always there to help me. And google also made Gmail. i like gmail a lot because it handles spam very nicely. And also because it holds over a whopping 2GB of email space. Its also loads faster because there isn't any picture ads. i hardly used my old email. Its filled up with hundreds of spam. i would of liked to turn on the function that only enables emails from people within my addressbook, but if i turned that on, i won't be able to recieve any email from my uni. Google also owns blogger, which is pretty cool because i can now experiment a bit with xml stuff and also write down random ramblings and read what other people is rambling on about. Recently i've played with google earth which is fun to use and see places from around the globe. i think its only a matter of time before google takes over the world. i really hope google isn't evil.

Distracted

Hmm...i was supposed to be doin homework, but i keep getting distracted. i downloaded and installed google earth which shows pics everywhere on earth from orbit. It even shows roof tops from houses. If commercial satellites can do this, i wonder what military satelillites can do? Darn i have to go to uni coz i can't find my uni work, and i'm hoping i saved it onto my uni folder at uni. Otherwise i know its on one of the desktops of the many computers i go on. =( i'm hoping i can find it and get it done by 3:30 pm

No more excuses

Ok...i got so much uni work to do but i have a plan. i'm at uni now on a beautiful fine weekend morning. All i have to do is 500 words (1 page) an hour non stop and i'll be home by 8, just in time for dinner. i hope i can do this. i think my uni friends are having a bbq tomorrow, but i don't think i can come coz i have to start on my assignments tomorrow. i hope they're not too disappointed. If i concentrate fully on my uni work then i don't have to think about other stuff too much...thats the theory. Ok gonna start now.

Extrovert or Introvert?

You Are 20% Extrovert, 80% Introvert

You are quite reserved You aren't afraid of social situations... But you very much prefer to go it alone And why not? You're your own best friend!

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

So much to do

Bummer...i really have to put more effort into my uni work. i have to write a critique (1000 words), 3 journals (1200 words each) and then start on my 2 assignments by next week. i wish i had more time...i guess i shouldn't of wasted it playing pac-man. At least i got my high score back now. Hmm, got so much reading and writing to do. Hopefully i'll finish the critique by tonight.

i am ******* lazy and sad

Ok. i was supposed to hand my critique in on Wednesday afternoon, but i haven't. In fact i haven't even started it yet. i know i have a good idea on what to write it on but i just can't do it. i don't think that its just because "the first step is the hardest"...the cold hard honest truth is: i am ******* lazy. i would rather eat corn chips dipped in salsa and lots of bread with lots of margarine. i then think i need more exercise than study...i remember i could do 50 push ups and 100 sit ups easy. Now i'm struggling for 25 and 50. i really need to stay in shape. If i am phsyically ok then i will be mentally too i think. A lot has been going on and i dunno how to handle it. i've been getting a variety of advice, but it doesn't seem to work for me. i thought the fear of rejection would disappear after i have been rejected, but its like me and her are coming closer and getting to know each other more. We're hanging out more than ever, and meeting up even when there's no reason to be. i don't understand...she rejected me, but she's getting closer. Doesn't she understand how i feel? Doesn't she know that everytime i am with her i feel torn between leaving and staying? Even when i know that i will be miserable later, i always and still feel happy when i'm around her. i guess i don't know how to let go. It doesn't help that she wants to meet up on a non teaching week. i want to finish my critique even if i get a zero for its lateness. Then i will exercise until the pain in my head would be nothing compared to the physical pain i will experience. i still have hope even when i know i shouldn't.

So much to read..

i'm at uni at the moment. It's a real cloudy and rainy day. The perfect weather to get some sleep in my bed where it's nice and warm. But unfortunately i have to write a 1000 word critique thats due tomorrow on Strategy Formulation. Theres literally hundreds of pages to read on how to establish and issues concerning IS/IT Strategy processes. It's so boring...i'm still reading through it. Hopefully i'll get it done by tonight. i saw a lot of my friends at uni today. They were all busy with tutorials or assignments or projects. i hope they all do ok. Now, back to my critique.

Clubbing with Cuz

i spent the night clubbing with my cousin last night. i thought she didn't want to go coz it was raining like crazy and she didn't send me an sms. i was enjoying myself watching tv and watching Terminator when she sent me an sms saying, "Hey, r u coming 2nite?", i was like OMG...crazy. i left the house around 9:30 and went to pick up her 3 friends and then drove to the city. We dropped off her 3 friends at Northbridge, and then went to pick up her other friend who lives in woop woop land in Highgate. That was kinda stressful coz we spent a lot of time finding her because we were at the wrong end of the street. We then parked at the carpark and went to Utopia where there was a kareoke party. i saw my other cousin's cousin there, Jess. Talked a little and decided to go to Metros. Had to drive the friend back to Highgate though...My cousin is so nice and caring to her friends. We then went back to Northbridge and danced until our feet hurt. Also, i can't dance. =P i saw Fidea there as well... i see him all the time there and he's always so busy talking to so many different people. Dropped off my cousin and her friends and arrived home at 4am. Hope my cousin is ok coz she seems to be under some stress. Today i woke up at 11am, had breakfast, showered and slept till 7pm. Not surprisingly, i'm not that tired anymore.

Cousins house

My cousins family is very fun. They are fun to talk to and force feed me so much. Raining so much today had nuthin to do. They forced me to eat lunch with them, and now i have to eat dinner with them as well...

Very depressed

"There's a lot of other fish in the ocean"...but what if i fell for a shark thats already bitten out a large chunk of me and swam off? =( i dunno what to do...i'm so lost. So much is running through my head. i don't know what i'm supposed to do...i keep talking to myself in my head so much. i don't know who i am anymore...its do this or do that... i don't have a will for anything anymore. Lucky i'm scared of pain, otherwise i would let go of everything which is pretty tempting since it would mean the end of my sadness.

Happy Day

i had a really good day today...i don't think i've been that happy in such a long time. i'm still afraid to keep my hopes up so i won't go bonkers yet. i haven't started my critique yet, but i'll do that very soon. i've finished most of my journal for ICT326 already. i'm still into getting more and more music that will keep my mind positive.