New vacuum cleaner

i've had a very very long 2 weeks. A lot of stuff happened; most of it bad. So bad in fact that i would rather forget it so i won't be typing it down. We do have a new vacuum cleaner now. Cost about 1000 bucks but it looks really cool. Externally is looks really modern, with the body resembling a black stealth fighter. It's telescopic pipe resembles a shot gun. i'm not joking. But it does seem to be a well designed vacuum cleaner and is much quieter than our last one. It's also more compact and lighter. It has an on board compartment which holds 3 different heads. We had to get a new vacuum cleaner because the old one stopped working. i think we had it for over 18 years already.

Whales revenge

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Is it fate i'll be alone forever?

i don't know if i should believe that my life is already destined. Right now it sucks really bad and i would be really disappointed if the reason i'm sad and alone is due to fate or destiny. i was looking up some stuff on hanging and it seems that a 60 kg person requires about 3 to 4 metres of drop for a compelte break. A lot of the stuff scared me because it laid out everything to expect. Especially that instant death was not certain and that it would involve suffocation and breakage of neck bones. As i was thinking through it all, i got a call for an interview for work. Smells like hope, but i know better. Hope hurts a lot. Whatever comes to me tomorrow, i'll just accept it without expecting too much.

i need sleep

It's almost 3 am and i'm still not asleep yet. i keep thinking sad thoughts and am afraid of what i might do. Nobody to talk to now. Part of me wants to continue thinking sad thoughts over and over so it would be easier for me. The other part of me is just a mess that can't think anymore. Its horrible. Is this stress or depression? i'm stressed coz i'm always depressed and i'm depressed coz i'm always stressed. My life sucks.