Eagles WON!

One year since eagles lost the grand final, but they got their revenge now. Winning by one point too...such a crazy close game. Just like my life is really crazy. On thursday my sis failed her driving test only because she didn't stop close enough to the stop sign. And on friday, the girl i asked out is quitting work. i think she's pissed at me coz i didn't get her a goodbye present. She probably thinks i don't think of her much. She doesn't know that since the day she told me her car was a Getz, i've looked at EVERY Getz that drove past seeing if its her that's driving it. On wednesday i saw her for the first time driving past me. i knew it wouldn't work out. She's exactly the opposite of me. i'm not gonna become attached to her coz it would kill me if i do. It helps that she doesn't really seem as if she's interested at all. Also two of my workmates left on friday. Its really sad to see them go coz i've seen them work there ever since i started. And they are very good people and hard workers. i think i said something awful to an online friend last night. Now i'm afraid i lost a friend. i don't have many friends. Should i lose them all?? i dunno what to do.

What a burger

i've been pretty miserable for the past week. So i've been doing things to help me feel better. Like buying a 2 GB usb flash drive. And eating junk food. Loads of junk food. Taking all the chocolate from the pantry. In fact i think i had either hungry jacks or maccas about 6 times in the past week. Different kinds of burgers....i'm trying to find the most fattening one that would also be the most filling. Double quarter pounder is not bad. They're filling and cheesy. Double bacon deluxe burgers are quite good but they're based on the cheeseburger bread and patty size. My dad told me on the previous night to wash the Getz in the morning and then take it to the city to get it rust proofed. There was so much bird shit on every single side of the car. After i cleaned it, i then had to endure the stress of teaching my sis how to drive to uni. i wish she could drive closer to the middle of her lane. It was raining by the time i reached the rust proofing place. i had to sit in a small room for over an hour as they did the job. i felt so hungry and my stomach was making funny noises and i was wondering what kind of burger would be really
nice. When i got the car back i ordered a double whopper meal yesterday and i told them to put bacon in it. Two flame grilled whopper size beef patties with oily bacon on the top, sandwiched between mayo, lettuce, pickles, tomato and a sesame bun. It would of been better if there was cheese in it as well. But it was satisfying, very unhealthy but satisfying especially with large chips and large coke. i really needed to eat something which was filling after the crap day i had. If i had died from the amount of cholestrol and calories that i had ingested, i would of died happy, knowing that i am not hungry, that i was satisfied, my tastebuds were happy, and it wasn't gonna get much better than this. Except with cheese of course.

i'm gonna get it then

i told him he could use the computer now, and his response, quote,
"NOT INTERESTED". So what i got so far is goin over 100km/hr on a
highway into a light pole, or jumping off a tall car park building.
Hmm. Can't say i'm too eager to try either of them coz i think this
whole thing is stupid. Who deserves shit like this??

Treated like crap

i just wanted to check my email about 5 mins ago but my dad got into
the room 10 secs before me and told me to f$%^ off and go to bed.
Problem? Well my dad normally uses the other computer, but my sis is
doing her homework on it, so my dad decided to go to the computer
which i bought instead. What really pissed me off is the way he can
talk to me as if i'm like a nobody and it was ME who bought the
computer off Jamie. i spent all day helping his friend install a
cabinet, while he decided to go out to the city and came home to
sleep, hardly even helping or even seeing his 'friend' who is making
the cabinet for him for free. Why does it have to be this way? i
really must find a fast and effective way to kill myself. i better
give him the computer now before he makes a big deal out of it. i won
the argument, coz he knew he was wrong so i'm on it now. i'm giving
it back to him after sending this blog through email so hopefully he
doesn't give me any more shit than i already have to live through.

Insignificance

i was at work today pulling out the special sales tags from shelves
coz it was the last day of the MONSTER storewide sale. Anyways a very
pregnant lady came up to my aisle, looked up and began to climb the
shelf to get a high item. i can't believe that she didn't ask me for
help as i was quite literally next to her. i stopped her from
climbing and took down the item for her. The fact that she would risk
injury to an unborn child to get an item that she couldn't be bothered
asking me for help really made me feel like nothing. i mean i always
feel insignificant anyway, but now i know that i must also LOOK
insignificant too. That really made me feel like i was noone. i was
in kmart uniform, and unlike some of my workmates, i had the black
pants and black shoes as well instead of sneakers. i guess i should
get used to it. i AM insignificant and probably always will be.

Not fair

It's been hard weekend for me. So much crap to go through. If there was a fast and easy and painless way to die, i wouldn't hesitate to take it and go. i'm in that horrible state now. i hate being used. i have to find a way to be free. My dad thought it would be a good idea to buy a dvd recorder so that he can hook it up with the video cam to record his stupid dancing. i have no problem with that except he puts pressure on me to get it working. It pisses me off so bad. i was being criticized for plugging in the cables coz my dad thought i was plugging them in wrong. When i try to explain to him that theres no point in plugging the video and 2 audio heads in the 3 HD visual ports he tried to convince me that he's following the manual. It's so friggin stupid. i tried so hard to explain to him that theres no point in it, and that it doesn't work like that but he wouldn't listen. In the end he finally believed me, but i was still very annoyed that it took him so long. i actually had to show him by putting in a dvd that it works MY way and not his messed up way of not actually knowing what he is doing. The problem with some people is that they pretend to be smart but end up doing looking very stupid. He told me to get the video cam to dvd harddrive function working. i guess in the future, it means i have to tape all his crap for him coz he can't be bothered learning how to do it himself. In other news, i found out that my little cousin has leukemia. It's so not fair. No kid 3-4 years old deserves to have needle injections and undergo the pain of chemo. i really hope he does ok. He's learning how to talk and paint. There are his paintings and photos of him self all over the wall in his house. Life is so unfair. He's gonna spend a month in hospital. My parents want to support my uncle and aunty but that's causing them to argue at each other coz it puts pressure on them. They want to organise with my other uncles and aunties to cook for them. i sense that there IS a messed up mixuture of competition or responsibilty of some sort and it is causing troubles beneath the surface. There is never any peace and quiet. This house is so chaotic. i just want it to end so badly. i guess this is how people turn to drugs. i want to drink lots of alcohol and feel the effects. It's a very strong feeling that i want to feel and forget all this crap. i don't deserve this anger and pain.